One concern I hear from clients a lot is the desire for their kids to “be okay” and to maintain strong relationships with both parents going forward. When this comes up, I remind my clients that even if you choose to move into a new home, or schedules need to change, if you can show them that you are okay, they will be okay.
If you are really struggling with the emotional impacts of your divorce transition and this article makes you want to scream “what about MY sense of security and comfort?!?!”, the best thing you can do is seek guidance from a family therapist or divorce coach. You can’t help others, including your children, until you help yourself.
Here are a couple things to keep in mind as you move forward in your divorce transition with children:
- Emotional Anchors: Parents serve as the emotional anchors in their children’s lives. Even during uncertain times, parents can provide a sense of security and love that helps children weather the storm.
- Modeling Resilience: Children observe their parents closely, learning valuable lessons about how to cope with adversity. By demonstrating resilience and a positive attitude, parents can inspire their children to develop their own coping skills.
- Consistency and Predictability: Maintaining consistency in parenting approaches and providing a predictable routine can help children adjust more smoothly to the changes caused by divorce. Predictable routines offer a reassuring sense of stability and normalcy, providing children with a solid foundation from which to navigate their new circumstances.
- Reaffirming Unconditional Love: Amidst the challenges of divorce, parents can reaffirm their unwavering love for their children through verbal expressions of affection, physical warmth, and quality time spent together.
- Presenting a United Front: Despite the end of the marital relationship, parents can still present a united front when it comes to parenting decisions. This united front fosters a sense of security for children, reducing confusion and providing a consistent and supportive environment for their growth and development.
- Encouraging Emotional Expression: Children may have questions, concerns, or fears about the divorce. Creating a safe space for children to share their feelings openly validates their experiences, promotes emotional growth, and helps them develop healthy ways of processing and managing their emotions.
Divorce presents a unique opportunity for parents to support their children. By embracing a positive and mindful approach, parents can reassure their children that they will be okay and create an environment of love, understanding, and growth for their children during this challenging time.