To start, I would like to say that I am absolutely pro-Mediation. I think it’s the best option for MOST divorcing couples for many reasons. I am not alone in this opinion – mediation is often touted as an ideal solution for divorcing couples, promoting communication and collaboration, efficiency, and cost savings.

HOWEVER, not every situation is conducive to this approach. If there is a large power imbalance between spouses, lack of trust, or history of abuse or intimidation, then mediation is likely not the right fit for your divorce. You need to be able to sit in the room with your spouse and think clearly. Are you your own best advocate or do you need support?

If you find yourself feeling pushed into negotiations without the support you need, it’s essential to recognize when additional assistance is necessary. In this blog post, we will explore the importance of having a support team, the potential manipulation tactics surrounding professional hires, and how to make decisions that leave you feeling confident and empowered.

Recognizing the Need for Support:

Are you in the midst of a divorce and feeling beaten down? Do you find yourself seated at the negotiation table and uncomfortable making decisions on your own? Are you completely overwhelmed? Be open and honest with your mediator about your concerns, and seek guidance on potential next steps and available resources.

Building Your Support Team:

One of the key aspects of navigating a divorce successfully is assembling a support team that you feel comfortable with as early as possible. Divorce coaches, financial experts (CDFAs), consulting attorneys, Real Estate experts with divorce certifications – all of these professionals and more can help give you the information you need, and it may cost less than you think. You don’t have to go through this challenging time alone.

The Manipulation Tactic:

While the concern for the cost of hiring professionals is legitimate, it’s crucial to recognize when this objection might be a manipulation tactic. Are they telling you that hiring professionals is too expensive and would make the process more adversarial? Are they threatening that if you hire the support you need, they will stop “playing nice”. Do you feel like your spouse is using the mediation process against you in a way that gives them more control? This is not a dynamic suitable for mediation in most cases.

Your well-being and the fairness of the divorce settlement should not be compromised for the sake of saving a few thousand dollars when the cost of bad decisions could be tens of thousands or more. Ultimately, if you are unable to make decisions because your mental health is now in the toilet or you just don’t have the information you need, this can elongate the divorce process, resulting in much higher expenses. By hiring the right team of professionals, you may actually spend less in the long run and feel much more confident about your outcomes.

Consulting an Attorney:

If you don’t feel you can adequately advocate for yourself – you need to find someone who can. Even if you are mediating, you can still hire a consulting attorney to provide you with legal advice, prepare you for mediation, possibly sit with you in mediation, and ensure that you do not sign anything that is unfair. If you are committed to the mediation process, make sure to hire an attorney who is mediation minded and has experience in mediation. You do not want to hire an aggressive attorney who may blow up all of the progress made in mediation so far (if its not necessary).

During this time, it’s essential to prioritize your well-being and peace of mind. If you find yourself feeling worn down and unsupported during your divorce process, don’t hesitate to reach out for additional help. Building a team of professionals who understand your unique situation can make all the difference in ensuring a fair and satisfactory resolution. Remember, you have the right to feel confident and empowered throughout the divorce process, and seeking the support you need is a crucial step toward achieving that.